Bare with me people I'm about to go emo.
Fuck man I am so tired of doing everything I can for others beuing there for them when needed, everything and then gettiong nothing in return. I mean yeah its kinda wrong, and no I don't just do it so people like me, I do it cause its the right thing to do. BUT DAMN, it sucks when you talk to a girl for iover an hour comforting her cause some guy was a dick, then the next day all you wanna do is hang out and get outta the house, and everyone blows you off. It's bullshit, what did I do wrong man, I just wanna know that cause this sucks yo. I mean I am already a good for nothing highschool drop out with a minimum wage job, no car and soon no place to live. Why can't you people atleast have pity on me? All I wanted was one night away from my parents who are bitching, alot right now, and I can't deal with it. All I wanted was for one of the people who I would do anything for to come pick me up, or get me out of here, but all I get is, I'll call you back, or no answer at all. FUCK man what did I do wrong, why is it people seem to use me when they need me, but blow me off when they dont? I mean seriously the only two people in this city that have been there for me are the hiesels, and even then I have to ask myself if they are just somehow using me or what. FUCK THIS SHIT. I just want two see two people right now. One is the girl I really like right now, either of them, or two Kyle Posey, cause he is the only guy thats always there for me, ready to do anything for me, but I guess thats just what best friends are for, THANKS MAN. Also I can't stand people who just can't seem to accept that I don't always have time to just sit on the phone and talk to them and only them. I am tired of being with friends and getting a phone call then being critcised when I tell the person I have to go cause I'm with friend, or them just hanging up on me cause I answer a friends question or something. I mean fuck people I wish I had time to always talk to you and at the same time be able to spend time with other friends, but I don't, and I refuse to be rude to the friends who are willing to come see me, or come pick me up to hang out with them, and stuff like that. Along with this drama, I am having problems with the females, well not really problems, more of just I want a girlfriend right now, and there is this girl I like alot, I have hung out with her alot lately, and shes just awesome. But at the same time there is the girl I have liked for like three years, and this summer I might actually have a chance to be with her. But if I hook up with the other girl I might miss my chance to be with the one I really like. God this shit sucks, and along with all this I am in trouble with my probation officer over some crap, and my parents are about to kick me back out, and needless to say its abit to cold to live on the streets right now. I JUST NEED SOME HELP, someone to talk to, someone who will really just shut up and listen, let me cry on their shoulder, that kinda thing, I need someone who I can just break down and be emo around. I know for some of you these problems might seem small, but man they are really affecting me. But yeah, I'm done bing emo for now I guess. LOVE YOU ALL. The One and Only: John Holt YO!!!